Aftermizzath/ How the west was won

hang⋅o⋅ver

/ˈhæŋˌoʊvər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [hang-oh-ver]
–noun

1.	the disagreeable physical aftereffects of drunkenness, such as a headache or stomach disorder, usually felt several hours after cessation of drinking.

2.	something remaining behind from a former period or state of affairs.

What the shit is this clever and descriptive definition above me?! Fuck that! I don't get hung over! That is some poppy-fucking-cock! I am just fucking fine, damn it.

Anyway, lets recap.

Last night:
me:

• DJ at friend's party
• Coolest person in the room
• Have an eyepatch
• Smacked bitches with impunity
• clubbed a baby seal just to make an ugly vegan cry.

After a majority of the worthless crusty tampons/ whores left, I proceeded to get my swerve on (English translation: I drank like the champion that I am). The party got exponentially better the more I drank (as do most things). The only downside is that there wasn't much tasty hoe for my remaining good eye to feast on. I'll tell you, if you only have one good eye, you have to give it hot bitches to look at lest it run away leaving you blind. Once I got over the fact that the best chick that was there was a five (and that is after drinking like a champ), Dick Chaney gave me a lift home on his wheelchair. He and I watched Strangers With Candy while continuing to drink. And that brings us to now. Fuck this fucking shit. I want some food. Seacrest out.

-King Dave